Public transport - it's a jungle out there...

"If you wanna push th' bell, get oan the 28" was the driver's warning bark to a man who had happily pushed the bell to get off buses all his life in Glasgow, but on this day, on a new bus route, found himself an outsider in his home city.

I don't know you...but I...HATE you...

We must all realise - for the sake of our own health and safety - how much the politics and etiquette of a public transport system varies from place to place.

With the Edinburgh Festival starting soon and the city limits strained to bursting point with tourists and travellers, it's important to be aware that if you are new to a city, do not - under any circumstances - try and assert yourself with some kind of power when it comes to their transport system. You will not be thanked for your efforts.

Don't feed the birds - my Twitter nightmares

Inside my head, I was standing in an 80's lunch hall, tray in hand, looking over a sea of strangers who were all chatting and laughing together. Even some of the kids I'd seen before were somehow different now, surrounded by others who seemed to know them so well, hanging off their every word. There weren't any seats free...I didn't understand how to join in. Defeated, I turned and left, hanging my head and clenching my fists, vowing that this would be the last time I ate alone, hidden from the world in a toilet cubicle.